Documented thoughts

I’ve somehow only recently realized how much of an issue I have with expressing myself through words. I always find them too concrete or too vague and each can be interpreted a million different ways depending on a persons current perspective and understanding (which is most likely why conversations can be so exhausting for me)

I’ve been trying to express myself more through social media and by starting my blog (as well as by beginning to write a book) but I didn’t truly realize the struggle until my dear and I talked about my journals

I’ve kept a diary on and off for most of my life but in 2013/14 I began regularly documenting my days. Unfortunately I literally have books filled with what I did on a specific date and no entries about how I was feeling, or what I was going through. It’s not that I denied my negative thoughts, I just didn’t want to record them, but in doing so I also subconsciously excluded all of the good ones as well

Although I have been allowing my emotions to be felt and leave, I’ve removed the ability to look back and reflect on so many (now forgotten) moments and to actually see my progress physically logged in my own writing

I’m in no way sadden by this as I know that the only time which holds any importance is the present, but I’m definitely going to be making a change. It’ll also be more enjoyable to write about what I’m currently planning or am excited about rather then to think so formally of “what did I do today?” 🙈

Anyways, with how rapidly things are changing and how easily it is for me to entirely forget about memories, inspirations and ideas, I’m definitely ready to turn a new page (pun intended 🤓)

This will also help me tremendously with regularly blogging as well as drafting my own book! I’ve already started making an effort and am feeling confident that I’ll be reading through my progress from this point on instead of a summarized version of each (sometimes seemingly repetitive) day 👻✨