A late introduction 💀

I suppose this should’ve been one of, if not, my first blog post but better late than never, right? So I wanted to just quickly share a little snippet of my backstory and a link to the spoon theory, to explain my use of the term spoonie)

I've been living with chronic pain for just about a decade now, so it's very easy for me to overlook the little quirks I have, rituals I do and changes I've made to avoid or manage pain. They're subconscious, they've become characteristics of mine. I'm trying to monitor and take note but most are only applicable to my specific ailments and limitations but throughout posts on this blog I'm hoping to be able to provide enough insightful advice to help anyone else who has any sort of chronic pain, illness or dis-ease discover their own tricks for living (almost) effortlessly again

Although I may not be able to live what most would deem a "normal" life, I'm still finding ways to live my kind of normal life — by this I just mean living consciously (as to avoid absentmindedly hurting myself or causing a flare up) and living at my best (the healthiest I can be as well as my most joyous and grateful). This also includes resting when I need to and not being limited by constant pains and aches. When I'm maintaining an entirely plant based diet and practicing yoga daily I can do and be all that effortlessly. Those two practices and meditation allow me to flourish and thrive as my highest self. If I'm not taking proper care of myself even just trying to relax is more than uncomfortable, laying down or sitting in any position can be rather painful

The xray at the beginning was me about eight years ago, before my (partial) spinal fusion, which made things a lot worse and is not recommended; I had the harrington rod procedure done (which was an unusual and outdated choice). I had developed scoliosis at the age of thirteen and rapidly progressed into a severe double curvature and rotation within months, was grossly mislead by doctors and obviously had the fusion done then spent the following months with worsening pain which bled into the next however many years

Since I had a partial harrington procedure done, and there were already a lot of complications, I was considered a high-risk patient and most doctors, specialists and surgeons refused to see me

The ones that did weren't very helpful or kind.

Things that normal people can do easily I can't

I haven’t always been very open about my back problems and all of the limitations it brings as it’s something I still struggle with admitting to others but I am working on it

I’ve continuously been told that I’m “too young” to have back problems or that I’m their "most complicated patient" and that they "can’t help me", so I stopped asking doctors (or anyone) for help and I stopped talking about it too — but that wasn’t helping me heal and it wasn’t helping anyone else in a similar situation either.

I'm learning not only to accept help when it is offered but to also ask for it when it’s needed. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we all need help from time to time regardless of who we are and coming from someone who likes to help (when / if I can), it really isn't a problem, in fact its usually my pleasure! Us spoonies, at any age, need to remember the joy we all have when giving, and to allow others to feel that joy, especially when we need help and they are offering. We need to remember this especially if we're ever feeling like a burden; but please don't ever allow yourself to feel that way as you're not. When we care about another we will do anything to help them and make them smile and it's never an inconvenience

Living with chronic pain and illness isn't always easy, but it doesn't have to be a constant uphill battle. We just need to accept and work with our limitations, use what we have to our advantage, be grateful for every little thing including all we're still capable of, ask for help when needed and take proper care of our selves and health

It'll also require a bit of experimenting as we figure out what helps and what hurts

Although it’s a constant challenge I’m not angry or upset, this is just how my life is :)

I'll get more into this another time but I hope that you all know that we do have the potential and power to heal ourselves (to some extent) but we have to consistently try

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope that you're all having a wonderful day and that if you're in any pain or discomfort, that it eases soon <33